Only Girls Will Understand...
Here are my uppermost niggling nuisances only a girl would understand! Excuse my sexism, there are points here valid for the male community also. Its for those minute details that impair every day life when you least expect it. First World Problems at their effeminate finest.
1. Period pains when you're not on your period... I suggest if this case persists, seek medical attention, however if its just an incident of over consumption of ice cream, then you only have yourself to answer for. Damn you, hormones!
2. Lip gloss is more trouble than it is worth. You are strolling down the street in your swag, with out a care in the world, and the wind is in your favour until, your hair flaps across your face and sticks unpleasantly to your mouth, giving the effect that you have just sellotaped your pout to a furry friend.
3. When you've spent what feels like years on your new set of false nails, and you unexpectedly do something vigorous and unavoidable later on in the day, only to find that you lose 20% of your masterpiece during those mere seconds of toil. Worse still, you haven't got a replacement set.
4. Accumulating food debris in your handbag. How? Why?
5. Fake tan. Need I say more? We all want that 'just-off-my-holidays' look, all year round, sure. Only getting a streak-free, patch-free, smoothly finished, all over, and realistic looking fake tan (I do not promote the use of sun beds) is next to impossible whilst with infinite trial and error, you can still never seem to accomplish that image on the St.Tropez advertisement, despite product promises.
6. When you purchase a new pair of heels, they fit like a glove in the shop, until you get them home and out on the town, 10 minutes elapse and you figure that perhaps they weren't such an investment after all. As you tip-toe 10 ft down the road, you're quickly rationalising whether to retreat home to make a rapid exchange in the footwear department, to your ever-mounting collection!
7. When there's no paper left in the ladies. Particularly when we're talking about public lavatories or restaurants. I could never understand how they allow visitors to find themselves in such a dilemma.
8. When the boyfriend choses gaming over gabbing with you, "Hold on babe, I'm just finishing this round." Three Hours Later... "Yeah sorry, got caught up in a tournament, just couldn't let that last loss slide, had to get 'em back in a free for all, I know you get it" Internal monologue suggests this could be the pinnacle of our relationship. My advice? Do not let it consume them! You hold the power to save them! Make a song and dance about it, go to extreme lengths to get their attention, think outside the box.
9. You just got paid and have been waiting all week for this day to come, so you can finally rush out to buy that new dress for the weekend, you're craving a night out on the lash, and you have undeniably earned it. You're almost jumping over the sales counter and struggling to control the volume of your voice, imprudently demanding to see this dress appear before your eyes, only after all this anticipation and patience, you are given the devastating news that this item has sold out, everywhere. You're literally kicking yourself you didn't ask to put it on reserve before. Just let that sink in.
10. Wake up, beautiful blue sky, not a cloud in sight. Logic says, "Awesome, I can debut my skirt and crop top combo with those adorable sandals I found last week." 1 Hour Later... F' Britain, with your stupid, bi-polar whether. Sky accumulating with massive F' off clouds and now its about to piss it down. All this effort into an outfit, yet it fails to attain it's function of what clothing actually does... protection from the elements, modesty and to look F'ing awesome.
1. Period pains when you're not on your period... I suggest if this case persists, seek medical attention, however if its just an incident of over consumption of ice cream, then you only have yourself to answer for. Damn you, hormones!
2. Lip gloss is more trouble than it is worth. You are strolling down the street in your swag, with out a care in the world, and the wind is in your favour until, your hair flaps across your face and sticks unpleasantly to your mouth, giving the effect that you have just sellotaped your pout to a furry friend.
3. When you've spent what feels like years on your new set of false nails, and you unexpectedly do something vigorous and unavoidable later on in the day, only to find that you lose 20% of your masterpiece during those mere seconds of toil. Worse still, you haven't got a replacement set.
4. Accumulating food debris in your handbag. How? Why?
5. Fake tan. Need I say more? We all want that 'just-off-my-holidays' look, all year round, sure. Only getting a streak-free, patch-free, smoothly finished, all over, and realistic looking fake tan (I do not promote the use of sun beds) is next to impossible whilst with infinite trial and error, you can still never seem to accomplish that image on the St.Tropez advertisement, despite product promises.
6. When you purchase a new pair of heels, they fit like a glove in the shop, until you get them home and out on the town, 10 minutes elapse and you figure that perhaps they weren't such an investment after all. As you tip-toe 10 ft down the road, you're quickly rationalising whether to retreat home to make a rapid exchange in the footwear department, to your ever-mounting collection!
7. When there's no paper left in the ladies. Particularly when we're talking about public lavatories or restaurants. I could never understand how they allow visitors to find themselves in such a dilemma.
8. When the boyfriend choses gaming over gabbing with you, "Hold on babe, I'm just finishing this round." Three Hours Later... "Yeah sorry, got caught up in a tournament, just couldn't let that last loss slide, had to get 'em back in a free for all, I know you get it" Internal monologue suggests this could be the pinnacle of our relationship. My advice? Do not let it consume them! You hold the power to save them! Make a song and dance about it, go to extreme lengths to get their attention, think outside the box.
9. You just got paid and have been waiting all week for this day to come, so you can finally rush out to buy that new dress for the weekend, you're craving a night out on the lash, and you have undeniably earned it. You're almost jumping over the sales counter and struggling to control the volume of your voice, imprudently demanding to see this dress appear before your eyes, only after all this anticipation and patience, you are given the devastating news that this item has sold out, everywhere. You're literally kicking yourself you didn't ask to put it on reserve before. Just let that sink in.
10. Wake up, beautiful blue sky, not a cloud in sight. Logic says, "Awesome, I can debut my skirt and crop top combo with those adorable sandals I found last week." 1 Hour Later... F' Britain, with your stupid, bi-polar whether. Sky accumulating with massive F' off clouds and now its about to piss it down. All this effort into an outfit, yet it fails to attain it's function of what clothing actually does... protection from the elements, modesty and to look F'ing awesome.