My Tinder Experience
My philosophy for sex and relationships.
I have always sought for soul connections, personality and conversation over appearances, employment and background. Honestly, I have never really approached many men, they generally come to speak with me initially, but that might be because I look friendly and open, and I am an easy-going, spiritual person. I have discovered that Tinder has rescued the last of my mental health, before I totally deteriorated. It was like, I took the initiative to download the app on my smartphone, and have had the pleasure of speaking with a diverse assortment of gents. It has opened my eyes, for me to understand that I have been treated like dirt before, I have not been offered anything genuine, with a foundation of friendship, as opposed to a strictly sexual agenda, that is not my priority. I have allowed this to go on for too long, it was about time I came out of my shell and began to explore the possibilities of having a new boyfriend. I recommend Tinder for well being, meaningful banter, sharing interests and ambitions with like-minded companions. I know that people assume that these networks are not genuine enough for legitimate relationships, but we've all been brought up with technology, and the traditional method i.e. meet a partner at work/college/through friends, is no longer as indispensable as we would have liked to imagine. The complex pace of life has forced us to pursue our connections in a virtual-reality.
My ex was controlling me and he cracked me up and stopped me moving on, not letting me speak to any one new out of guilt, for many years, and I should have taken the audacity to utilise this social media platform to eradicate my feelings of loneliness and rejection, all because one guy (or 3) made me feel undesirable. I considered suicide and applying for The Undateables (C4), but not before I considered suicide. Updating the blog regularly has elevated my conscience to an epiphany that has truly developed my sense of worth and ability to help others through this art of communication. Also it will allow me to release these grudges. Surely I will never speak to certain individuals in my life ever again, nevertheless I should give them the benefit of the doubt once I've reflected on the times we shared, I should honour that for what it was worth, and respect it as a memory and nothing more. Rather than convincing my self that the things I shared with others was a fashion of psychological weaponry with their malicious intention, that I may finally forgive my self, for all the conundrums and appreciate a humdrum life as opposed to seeking revenge.
If you've ever been hurt, loved and lost, read this now...
1, There's plenty more fish in the sea. (Try POF.com for reference to this kind hearted joke)
2, Never ever put a price tag on your life, I don't care how much money, success, popularity or whatever it is that attracts you to this person, do not be bribed by his or her grooming techniques. There's wining and dining, but you have to draw the line and have some discipline and modesty.
3, Never have sex on a first date.
4, Do not excuse the link between alcohol and drugs for love. If you are intoxicated then any private activities could be considered rape. It is not safe and it is not wise. Trust me on this.
5, Looks really can be deceiving. Also, beware of the Catfish. Try to get to know the person on the inside before you begin to develop any real feelings for them. You will thank yourself in the future. Be lighthearted about it at first, and just see where it goes, there's no harm in that. I promise. Just be brave, to spark up a conversation. I thought it would be difficult, but a simple, "Hi" or a cheeky comment about their profile picture, is enough.
6, I beg you to find yourself again before diving into another full-blown relationship with anybody. You are already fragile and you need to nourish your spirit with music, art, films, comedy, athleticism, platonic socialising, a good diet, spring cleaning, even a new hair style (but nothing drastic like tattoos - I did this, foul play)
7, If it was a seriously fucked up relationship i.e. Abuse of any description, then please do not hesitate to see a counsellor or a therapist. I had Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for about a year and a half, and I can't say it made me worse, mindfully, because it provided the advice I needed and the motivation to get my life back on track.
8, Spend more time with nature and animals, it will lower your stress levels after a painful break-up and bring you back to earth. There is nothing quite like wandering into the wildlife for a while, to lose yourself and immerse yourself within the beauty of the environment.
9, If you are not such as sensitive as a person, then you may wish to chase some weirdos on Chatroulette or Omegle. You can have a lot of fun talking to these people from all over the world. We ended up having a deep consolation between the two of us, a guy from Austria. (Even he had suffered depression, living in such a beautiful country)
10, I am not condoning the usage of drugs to relieve pain after a break-up, however, I am saying this from a caring attitude, I will not condemn your freedom of choice. I just don't believe that drugs are the answer to post-relationship heartache. It is merely sticking a plaster over a wound that needs 'fresh air' to let it heal properly by itself. I can confirm that at this stance I am a hypocrite, sure. Mentioning this lastly but not as the least important point, that I have been drinking since I was 15 and smoking since I was 18, and these practices became a habit. I just don't recommend picking up a pattern of doing this alone in the latter stages of your affair. Hey, I guess we've all been there.
