Its the small things

What a strange week so far! It is true, my life is in perfect chaos.

There's a distant voice, somewhere from the peripheral, either telling me to give up, coaxing my higher self to forget it, its not worth it, just get pissed and say "screw you" to life... or the more likely truth, is that it is all in my tired imagination and I'm not going to succumb to it's negativity! Parts of me do not want me to succeed. It is unjust and unfair, to actively dishearten someone for characteristics they maintain, whilst they're not fulfilling their own real potential in this dimension. I would not expect any one to hold me back from what I desperately enjoy in my personal life, for them to then treat me with less dignity and set up compromises in order to attain selfish constructs of reality.

A bold statement to make here is that we are, irrespective to popular belief, alone. Trapped in the subjectiveness of our own heads, it is our personal responsibility to take care and precautions, to protect what is fruitful to our own existence and how that may cause effect on our environment.

I have learnt that it really is the little things, the details, especially since adopting the motto, "quality not quantity" into things generally speaking, it applies to every action from, making a cup of tea to living our dreams, such as my late interest in professional cycling and up taking a new role in sales.

I am not suggesting that every thing that happens is created through the power of our intentions, or completely leaving it to the ancient concept of 'fate', however, I do feel that our minds drive the course of events that we can either choose to endure, in the mist of suffering or contentment. How we react to situations in life is power of free will, our emotions are only in our own control and mindset. 

*insert complicated jargon here* Comme Moi!

I have relished and found peace with the aid of Spartan Life Coach, you can find his inspirational and motivational vlogs on Youtube by searching that name there. He is qualified in Psychology and has a lot of life experience around matters that we all feel are just too difficult to translate in conversation. It has become my secret, I want to share it for the benefit of every one, because he dispenses his advice for free. Remember that any information that you read/watch/listen online and in the media alike, should not be taken too literally, as every thing is an object to your perspective and relational to your personal path in life. 

Music has always been a massive element of my life, and when times have been difficult and equally revelling, it has promised me an outlet to personal freedom. It gives me a sense of oneness, compassion and relaxation. I say this because I am certain that a majority of readers agree on this one. Therefore, music is another blessing of life, that I will no longer take for granted.

Today, I had an eye test, and after having perfect vision my whole life, I finally need that small prescription to make everything look a bit less hazy, it is a metaphor, like coming back to clarity in my life. Although, with all due respect, it is a genuine thing, I actually need glasses now. I am having a joke with myself about this because, I had a hunch that I would need them one day. As many people do with age and the stress we put on our brains and bodies. I always associated glasses with wise people, as depicted in a lot of media, and the irony here is, in my opinion I would not consider myself overly wise, only a fool thinks they know every thing. I have obtained this off-balance in my vision, so I guess it is probably because of abrupt demands in life, from our technological pursuits to our hectic schedules leaving us flapping around eventually to accidentally sit on said, new frames. 

I am drinking Camomile tea again, only this time with a drop of honey, and of course, I have left the bag in. Perfect alternative from Hot Choc before bed.

I bought a couple of bits in Superdrug today. It was almost impossible to do any thing comfortably yesterday, with the heat wave that appeared like instant holiday across Nottingham. I don't know about the rest of England, but what I do know is that I just about made it back on my mountain bike from an interview only to siesta immediately afterwards, and then never make it out of my painful slumber, due to sun stroke/ migraine. As usual, the sun more potent than I had ever imagined, I collapsed for my defeat. It was like we had tele-ported to Greece, Hawaii or India!

So I bought Superdrug's own branded shower gel because it donates a percentage of the price of the product to Marie Claire Cancer Cure. I also got some more Superdrug face masks, as recently they've redesigned their range to be broader, including a specially formulated mask marketed at men, the main ingredient being liquorice based. I would probably eat it off his face, I am not going to lie, I had a self-heating mixture on mine earlier, that I was accidentally licking off my lips anyway. I like this collection as they are against animal testing!

Radox bubble bath is on offer at 87p or something ridiculous like that, well worth saving here and there. I am a grab and go shopper these days, I don't like loitering too long in the city centre, the energy in these places can be quite overwhelming unless you're well spiritually guarded and you have a plan for the day, which I never really do. I have always been inclined to a 'go with the flow' attitude.

My concious morale is that, I am a strong believer in love and kindness, though one should remain aware, that the ideas of others may not necessarily suit your needs at the time, we are at risk of dogma, societal pressures and conforming for the sake of friendships and potential circles. We should digest advice with our intuition outside of a time frame. A true friend believes in your dreams no matter what; where you're at in life, how much money is in your bank account, what sort of background you're from. True friendship it is based on loyalty, trust and empathy.

What you do and how you carry out what you say you're going to do does represent a correlation of your progress. I hate it when people say they're going to do something, or change, then I see no commitment or passion. Sometimes it is hard to admit that we need support, but burdens can be relieved, if only we swallow our pride and reached out. We don't live in the past, only memories of events from which we build our identity upon, allowing us to live moment by moment - the present - and it is our duty to make the best of it, and not to hurt other people on the journey. 

I often go on tangents...

Another motto I have been delighting on is, "I would be unstoppable, if I could just get started!" My mother used to collect fridge magnets, that really were quite entertaining, they delivered so much wisdom every time I went in for a glass of milk! 

I painted my nails this colour because I was sick of the sight of them.